Monday, October 21, 2013


Now that we are in the off-season for triathlon, I've started obsessing about what the next on-season should look like. Inevitably, I start to think about efficiency and problems like overheating while racing. This invariably brings me around to a sad truth: my body fat level is too high. Excess body fat means that you're wearing a snuggy while racing. A 10-15 lb snuggy. Made out of space-age materials that make you really, really warm.

So, bright idea time! I want to trim up my carbohydrates just a wee bit so that when I race, I'll carry less weight and hopefully run a bit cooler too.

There's only one, tiny problem. I love the fix I get from ultra-processed carbohydrates. The more synthetic, the better. Sure, they're hell on your body, but they taste so darned good!

After having a pretty good day watching my dietary intake of calories and macro-nutrients, I got the jones this evening. Having sworn off (ran out of) carbohydrate-laden beer, I couldn't stop thinking about the bread I baked last weekend. Once I'd mentally given in to the idea of eating the bread, I mentally upped the ante and decided to go for the gold: melt-in-your-mouth super-ultra-mega-refined fried goodness Bugles. I try to stay away from them because after the first one, there is a good chance I'll wake up naked in a ditch in a couple of days.

My mouth started watering before I even had the bag open. I felt like a salivating dog in a lab experiment. I dumped a generous helping onto a plate.

Afterwards, as I sat thoughtfully munching on almonds and beef jerky, I wondered where my clothes went before I fell asleep in the ditch. I also realized that it is going to be a really tough off-season if I don't find a way to tame my cravings. Or at least indulge without suffering hypothermia.